


A Square Doesn't Fit a Circle

by funhousefreak



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Established Relationship, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Second Thoughts, he doesn't hide it well, sonic's a nervous baby
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 12:02:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20407432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/funhousefreak/pseuds/funhousefreak
Summary: Sonic's been preparing for this day for years. But when it's time to make his move, he starts having doubts.





	A Square Doesn't Fit a Circle

Sonic had always been impulsive, often times to a fault. He rarely thought through his plans of action, and ever more rarely thought about the consequences of them. He dove into everything he did head-first. Every mission, every friendship, every relationship, every decision.

So, why was he hesitating now?

He was staring out his bedroom window—or, more accurately, his former bedroom window. He hadn’t lived in this house for almost two years now. Tails never touched the things he left behind, and always kept the bed made. It really was almost like he never left. He knew his brother did it so he had a backup plan, in case his living situation ever fell through. It’d never happened, but Tails still kept the room ready.

_I wonder if I’ll finally have to use it._

Sonic had run straight from the store to his old home, ecstatic to show his brother the purchase he’d made. Tails was almost more excited than him about it. And then, as the minutes wore on, he _was_ more excited than him. By the time the sun started to set, the excitement in Sonic’s stomach had turned to dread. He knew Tails had sensed the change in his attitude, but he hadn’t pressed him. He let Sonic go to his old room without a single question. Both were thinking the same thing in that moment:

_He's having second-thoughts._

Normally, no one would mind if Sonic took a step back and actually rethought some of his plans. Hell, even Sonic would appreciate it sometimes if he was less impulsive. But this was not the type of decision one should have doubts about. Of course, it wasn’t one to be made impulsively, either.

The catch is that Sonic thought he had actually thought it through. He’d been daydreaming about it for almost two years, casually thinking about it for one, then seriously considering it for five months. He’d imagined so many different scenarios, so many different outcomes, so many different futures for himself. Yet, there in lied the problem—he’d been too focused on the future. He hadn’t stopped long enough to consider the now. To decide if he was _truly_ ready for this.

He’d assumed that if he’d been thinking about it for so long, he must be ready. But that’s not how it works, is it?

Sonic reached into his suit pocket and pulled out the velvet black box for the 10th time in the last 20 minutes. Each time he touched it, his hand felt like it was being plunged into boiling water. He opened the lid to reveal the shimmering green emerald inside, attached to a silver band. When he’d picked it out, his smile had stretched ear-to-ear. Now, he grimaced at it and had to control himself from throwing it far away from himself. Before his arm could even consider moving, a knock sounded on his door.

“Sonic?” Said person sighed in relief. It was just Tails.

“Yeah?”

“Shadow’s here. Are you ready?”

Sonic glanced down at the ring one more time before clamping the lid shut and shoving the box back into his pocket.

“Yep, be right there!”

He heard Tails walk back down the hall. For half-a-second, he considered throwing himself out the window and running as far away as he could. But that wasn’t fair to Shadow. And, anxious as he was, he would never want to hurt Shadow.

He exited his old bedroom and headed for the stairs. Right before he turned the corner, he plastered an award-winning smile on his face. As he descended the stairs, he prayed he’d mastered the art of faking happiness.

It was impossible to know, though, if either person awaiting him noticed the falseness. And if they did, they didn’t speak up. Instead, they were both smiling, though not to the wattage of Sonic. Tails had an encouraging, proud younger-brother look on his face. Shadow had a soft, warm grin, as if this were the happiest day of his life. Sonic tried to discreetly swallow the lump in his throat.

“I didn’t realize you owned any nice clothing,” Shadow teased, his face unchanging.

“Oh, shut up,” Sonic rolled his eyes. “I wore this to Rouge’s wedding, remember?”

“I thought that was a rental,” Shadow countered. He approached Sonic and linked his arm through one of Sonic’s. “Ready to go?”

“You know it. I’m starving!”

The duo made their way to the door. Shadow waved a friendly goodbye to Tails. Sonic turned around to call out to him, but stopped when he saw his brother’s face. He was smiling, but it appeared to be…sympathetic? He flashed Sonic a thumbs up. The excitement from earlier wasn’t there anymore. Sonic just nodded back, not wanting to take his free hand out of his suit pocket. Much as he hated it right now, he was afraid to let go of the box inside.

After the door closed, Shadow teleported them to the restaurant. It wasn’t until they were seated that the formalities started filtering out.

“So, what were you doing at Tails’ house so late?” Shadow asked after placing their drink order.

Sonic glanced up from his menu and gave a noncommittal shrug. “Not much. I’d gone over just to hang out and lost track of time.”

“So you went home, got your suit, then went back?”

Sonic froze, but only for a second. He prayed Shadow was having one of his more relaxed evenings and not studying his every move. “Nah, I changed before I went over. In case I stayed too late.”

Shadow stared at him a second longer than what would be considered normal, but he didn’t say anything. He gave an understanding nod before returning to his own menu.

Sonic internally sighed. He was grateful Shadow was being so chill this evening. Any other time, he would have read him like a book and would have hounded him about what’s wrong.

The duo ordered shortly afterwards. Sonic sipped on his freshly-delivered wine as an excuse to avoid conversation. Shadow took a sip of his own drink before shooting his boyfriend an odd glance.

“Don’t chug that,” he commented. “Are you trying to get drunk?”

Sonic stopped sipping and glanced down at his glass. It was already almost empty.

“Ah, sorry,” he apologized, setting the glass down. “Got lost in my thoughts.”

Shadow raised an eye-ridge at him, but said nothing. He took another sip of his drink before eyeing Sonic expectantly. He was normally the one to start conversation.

“So, how was work today?” Sonic decided to start simple and easy. That was a question that didn’t require any forethought.

“Eh, fine,” Shadow shrugged. “As fine as working for G.U.N. can be.”

“Any cool missions today?”

“No, just boring paperwork. Although…” Shadow chuckled between words, “Rouge did manage to create some entertainment.”

“That sounds like her,” Sonic said, letting a smirk take his face. “What’d she do this time?”

“Hack into the Commander’s file and change all his information to ridiculous shit.”

“Such as?”

“For an hour or two his name was Dicknips Weed Horseshit.”

Sonic almost fell out of his chair laughing. Just for that alone, he deemed this one of Rouge’s best pranks.

“His address was something like 666 Hellscape Lane. Located in the town of Asshole, of course.”

“Where else would he live?” Sonic joked as he wiped tears from his eyes.

“His position was Stick-in-the-Ass, I think. And his age was 69.”

“Oh god,” Sonic howled, banging a fist on the table. “That’s classic Rouge.”

“To be fair, I think that might be his actual age.”

“Shit man. When I get to be that old, I’m throwing a huge party.”

Shadow rolled his eyes, but with a loving smile on his face.

“Well, I clearly need to thank Rouge for saving you from dying of boredom.”

“Yes, you do. Normally I wouldn’t mind, but knowing we had a date this evening made the hours drag by even slower.”

Sonic blushed at that. Even after five years together, the simplest of comments could still catch him off guard. That was one thing he loved about Shadow. Amongst an incredibly long list of other attributes.

Thinking of his love for Shadow brought the issue he’d been stressed about crashing down on him once more. He unintentionally gripped the ring box in his pocket hard, causing his body to tense up.

“Are you okay?” Sonic looked up to find Shadow giving him a confused look. At least he didn’t look worried—that always made Sonic feel really guilty.

“Yeah, sorry, just had a weird wave of nausea,” he lied with a casual wave of his hand.

“Should we reschedule dinner for another night?”

“No, no! I’ll be fine. Probably just drank the wine too fast, like you said.”

Shadow’s eyes lingered on his for a few seconds, before he let them drift away.

The couple spent most of the dinner silently. Sonic pestered him for information on his latest G.U.N. activities; Shadow denied his requests, as always; Sonic asked how Rouge and Omega were doing; Shadow answered and hashed out more details of Rouge’s prank on the Commander. Their food arrived as he finished, and both were so hungry they focused solely on their food. When the check was brought, Shadow immediately took it.

“Hey! I’ve got this!” Sonic protested, reaching forward for the check.

“No, this one’s on me,” Shadow argued, pulling the check further to his chest. “You paid for the last one, remember?”

“Yeah, I know, but…” Sonic trailed off, realizing he couldn’t explain himself without revealing the surprise. And he especially didn’t want to do that since he was reconsidering even taking that plunge tonight.

Shadow ignored him, slipping his credit card inside the booklet. When the waiter returned and he signed the receipt, he held his hand out to Sonic.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

Sonic took the hand, but gave his boyfriend a look of confusion. “I thought we were just doing dinner tonight.”

“Yeah, but it’s a nice evening, and I’d like to spend it with you,” Shadow countered as he dragged Sonic out the front doors.

“We live together, Shads. It’s not like we’re going different ways after this.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Sonic stopped in his tracks. Shadow’s grip on his hand was the only reason they had not come apart. He hadn’t even noticed that they’d made it outside and were now walking along the railing that overlooked the sea. The chilly sea breeze stung his cheeks like slaps to the face. He stared at Shadow, desperately wanting him to laugh it off or say “just kidding, faker,” or literally anything else than what he was doing. His boyfriend just stared at him, face devoid of emotion.

“What are you talking about?” Sonic finally prompted. He tried to pull his hand back, but Shadow held on tight.

“You didn’t honestly think I believed that lie about wearing your suit to Tails’ place for ‘hanging out,’ did you?” Shadow turned his head forwards and began walking, dragging Sonic behind him in the process. Sonic took several large steps so they were walking side-by-side again.

“Wh…Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“Because you clearly had your reasons for lying. So, I figured I’d let you just enjoy the meal and interrogate you later.”

“Shads…”

“What’s wrong? Because something obviously is very wrong.”

Sonic sighed, squeezing his partner’s hand for both of their comforts. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind today, that’s all.”

“It must be something pretty big if you went to hide out at Tails’ house.”

“I wasn’t hiding, okay?” Sonic clarified, allowing a tinge of annoyance into his tone. “I went there to talk to him about something and just got distracted.”

“With thinking?”

“Yes.”

“What did you talk to him about?”

Sonic felt his blood run cold. No, he wasn’t ready for this, no way. He was trapped in a corner now. He could try to turn this into a suave moment and get on a knee right now. He could be honest and tell him he was having second thoughts. Or, he could make up another lie and let the issue die quietly. The last option was his favorite, but from the way Shadow’s eyes pierced his soul and his hand squeezed his own, Sonic could tell he wasn’t getting out of this with another lie. Or, if he tried to, he’d get hell for it at some later point. And, much as Sonic liked to keep up his cool and smooth persona, he was far too anxious to make a good move now.

Instead, he settled on a loud sigh. He pulled his hand gently away from Shadow’s, which the latter allowed to happen this time. He walked over to the railing and propped his arms on it. He crossed them over and rested his head on them.

“It’s about us, isn’t it?”

Sonic nodded. He knew he needed to say something before Shadow assumed the worst, but his throat felt tight and sore.

“Is there a problem?”

Sonic thought for a moment, before shaking his head.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No, not at all,” Sonic finally managed to force out.

“Then what is it?”

Sonic inhaled to speak, but choked on the air. When he recovered, he decided words weren’t going to work right now. Much as he despised the action, he reached into the suit pocket and pulled out the black box. He held it over his head so Shadow could take it. The latter stepped forward and did. The only sounds that followed were the crashing of waves and the snap of the box top.

Sonic laced his fingers together and bowed his head. He didn’t want to see Shadow or his reaction.

Finally, after the longest 10 seconds of his life, Shadow spoke:

“It’s pretty.”

Sonic couldn’t help but laugh. It started out as a quiet chuckle but grew into a full-blown laugh quickly.

“What?” Shadow asked, voice laced with confusion and annoyance.

“That’s the first thing that comes to mind?” Sonic asked in between laughs. “God, Shadow, you’re so strange. I’ll never understand you.”

“Likewise. Why was that an odd comment?”

“Because, like…most people would be focused on the sentiment or what is symbolizes, I guess. Not the actual appearance of it.”

“And what sentiment is that?”

Sonic sighed and wiped his hands down his face. “Come on, Shadow, I know you’re an alien, but you’ve been here long enough to know what it means.”

“Yes,” Shadow agreed. Sonic saw his boyfriend move next to him in his peripheral vision. The box was still open, the dazzling emerald on display for the world to see. “But I want you to say it.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re clearly struggling with this.”

Sonic forced himself to face Shadow. “It…it means I want to marry you,” he practically whispered.

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Want to marry me?”

“Well, I mean,” Sonic chuckled nervously, “I bought the ring, didn’t I? I brought it with me tonight.”

“But you didn’t propose,” Shadow stated.

“N-no,” Sonic stuttered.

“Are you having second thoughts?”

“No!” Sonic hurriedly answered. Shadow looked at him expectantly, clearly anticipating a further explanation. “I mean, no, I’m not having second thoughts about loving you.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“I know…I just, wanted to make that clear. But, yeah, I guess I am rethinking my decision.”

“Why?”

Sonic studied his boyfriend’s face for a moment. His face still reflected no emotions. His tone had remained neutral throughout their conversation. His eyes gave away no signs of what he was thinking. Without any immediate, explicit warning signs, Sonic decided to press onwards.

“I thought I was ready. And thought maybe you were, too. We’ve been together over five years. Lived together for two. We’ve traveled and gone on adventures and fought and made-up and talked about everything in existence and made love and practically memorized each other. I felt like that meant it was time.

“But, after I bought the ring and showed it to Tails, something dawned on me. We make things work well now, but can we keep it up forever? We lead very different lives, Shads. You’re a G.U.N. agent, working a steady 9:00-5:00 job, even if it’s sometimes dangerous. I’m a hero who just jumps around to where he’s needed, when he’s needed. I’ve never settled down for longer than a couple years, and even then I spend my days traveling the world. You’ve lived in the same apartment since before we started dating, and you have no plans to change that. I’m constantly moving and changing. You’re stationary and settled. We connect like two pieces of a puzzle, but our lives are polar opposites.”

Shadow continued looking at him for a moment. Sonic started to panic that he’d upset him, and that Shadow was going to bail. Maybe even break up with him on the spot. He’d have to trudge back to Tails’ house, defeated and depressed.

“That’s understandable.”

Sonic almost gasped by how surprised he was. That was not at all the answer he’d expected. He should know by now to never know what he’ll hear from Shadow, though.

“But why is this bothering you now?” Shadow continued. “We’ve been making this work even with our different lifestyles for five years.”

“I know,” Sonic started, looking away from his boyfriend, fear spiking once again. “But I worry that we can’t sustain it as, like, a married couple.”

“Why?”

“Because…” Sonic let out a frustrated growl as he turned back to look out at the dark sea. “Because being married and dating are two totally different things! We have our own separate lives now, but we’ll have one connected one if we get married!”

“Sonic, stop.”

“And then, oh god, what if you want kids? I’d be a horrible father! I can’t stand still for more than five seconds! I can’t raise a child! Or cook or clean or do anything an unemployed parent should do!”

“Sonic.” Sonic glanced down to see his boyfriend’s hand on his. He was giving him a firm but non-judgmental look. “Is that what you think marriage is? Shoving our lives together and making a family with strict roles?”

Sonic gave him a quizzical look. “Um, yeah.”

To his utter surprise, Shadow chuckled at his response. “And you say I’m the alien.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Sonic shouted in exasperation. “You _are_ an alien!”

“Sonic,” Shadow started as his last laughs left his throat. “Marriage isn’t some concrete thing. It’s just a continuation of a relationship. We can make it whatever we want.”

“Wha—?”

“Does Rouge always go straight home after work?”

“No.”

“Does she stay at home all the time when she’s not working?”

“No.”

“Does she only talk to her wife?”

“No.”

“Does she worry about having kids?”

“Where are you going with all this?”

“What I’m saying is that Rouge is a perfect example of a normal person who got married. She didn’t change herself or her life when she got married. She’s still the same outlandish Rouge.”

Sonic looked away from him and chewed the inside of his cheek. Shadow did have a point. Rouge was still herself, even as a wife. She wouldn’t change for anybody.

“Why are you trying to squeeze yourself into a mold that you don’t fit?”

He turned back to his boyfriend, his words drawing him out of his thoughts.

“I guess…I assumed I had to. To do this.”

“I know I’m not the expert in love matters, but this is how I see it.” Shadow gripped Sonic’s hand tighter and gave it a squeeze. “Marriage is just a formal way of saying ‘we’re in this for the long haul.’ Of saying that we plan to be together forever.”

Sonic nodded in understanding.

“And, to be honest, I was already planning on staying with you.”

“Really?”

“Were you not?” Shadow asked, with the tiniest hint of offense.

“No, I was! I just never thought about it in any official terms, I guess.”

“You’re the one who was going to propose.”

“Okay, fair enough.”

“It’s okay if you’re not ready to do it now. But if you are ready, someday, know that nothing will change. We’ll just be putting some metal on our fingers and getting discounts on resort retreats.”

Sonic giggled at Shadow’s dumb attempt to be funny. He used to never try to lighten the mood with humor, but after they started living together, he picked up on it. Sonic enjoyed it, though it did make him realize how dumb his jokes sounded aloud. Shadow only ever used Sonic-type jokes during these situations.

Shadow flashed him a quick smile before glancing down at the box in his hand. He closed the lid finally and held it out to Sonic.

“Why don’t you hold onto this for now?”

Sonic glanced between him and the box, then back to him. A shit-eating grin suddenly stole his face. He gently shoved the box back towards Shadow, to be met with a confused look.

“Actually, why don’t _you_ hold onto it?”

Shadow scoffed. “Why would I hold onto my own engagement ring?”

“Because…” Sonic drawled out as he let one knee rest against the pavement. “How else will you remember that you’re my fiancé?”

Shadow stared at him for a few seconds. His eyes widened when the words’ meaning finally clicked. He put his empty hand atop the small black box, as if it were suddenly a delicate egg that he had to keep from shattering.

“Is…that your way of asking me to marry you?”

Sonic’s smirk morphed into a genuine smile. “How else would I ask?”

Shadow laughed, clutching the box tightly to his chest. “God, you’re a dork. I’m tempted to say no just because of your lame-ass proposal.”

“Oh, come on, Shads!” Sonic jumped back to his feet and grabbed his boyfriend by his shoulders. “Don’t be mean! Besides, why would you expect something romantic from me?”

Shadow snorted, but met his eyes with the sincerest, love-filled smile Sonic had ever seen. “Good point.”

He moved his hand off the lid of the box and opened it. He then swiveled the box in his hands so the ring faced Sonic. “Would you do the honors?”

“Wait, you have to say yes first!”

“Oh, no, I’m rejecting you. I just want the ring.”

“Shadow!” He received a solid shove from his fiancé, his antics clearly not welcome.

“I’m kidding, relax!” He held up his free hand in a “I surrender” motion.

Sonic pouted, but took the box out of his hand. He grasped the ring between his fingers and looked expectantly up at Shadow.

“Alright, alright,” Shadow sighed, resting his forehead against Sonic’s. “I would love to marry you.”

Sonic’s brilliant smile was back, but this time it was genuine. He slipped the emerald on to Shadow’s right ring finger. He placed a gentle kiss on his forehead as he drew his hand back.

“So, what now?” Shadow asked, his eyes remaining closed. They both seemed distracted by absorbing the bliss of the moment.

“Why don’t we go home and catch a movie?” Sonic suggested. “I heard ‘Into the Spiderverse’ is on HBO tonight.”

“You know how to make a man swoon,” Shadow joked, though his tone was serious.

Sonic pulled back and slipped the now-empty ring box into his pocket. He wrapped his newly-freed hand around Shadow’s shoulders. As the duo walked back the way they came, a spark of light engulfed them, and they vanished from the sidewalk.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! Hope you enjoyed this oneshot! I wrote this a while back but was never sure if I was happy with it. Today i decided that I am haha! 
> 
> Thanks for any and all kudos/comments/bookmarks/etc. Sorry I'm so bad at responding to comments, but I swear every one of them makes me smile!


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